I wrote "Heavy" with Australian Producer, Dion Shaw, the first night we hung out. I was fizzling out of an on and off relationship at the time, and he started playing this synth that sparked a vision of two lovers trapped in a never-ending game of poker; with both parties unwilling to break poker-face. The relationship was a fun sexy game that was just too fun to quit.
Songwriting involves a lot of introspection, and let me tell you…it’s not always fun. Analyzing myself and my actions, especially when it comes to relationships, is one humbling journey. What I’ve begun to realize is that sometimes, our biggest enemies are ourselves. We often stay in situations that aren’t good for us either because it’s easy or because we just love it. And sometimes that’s fine – playing the game is fun when it’s fun. And one good part of introspection is understanding yourself. But “Heavy” made me realize that it’s also okay to question yourself and to know that it’s never too late to change something. Anything. Even it’s small.
While I was writing “Heavy,” I pictured myself and my muse trapped in a tense game of poker, where we’re both trying to figure each other out while keeping ourselves guarded. But we both need each other to keep the game going. You can’t play poker alone. “Heavy” might be about how the endless game is fun, and that our guilty pleasures keep us sane in a weird way. Or, maybe it’s that we don’t need the game at all. Whatever your answer may be, I hope “Heavy” helps you find it. Because the chase is fun, but ultimately the only way you can win your own game is to choose yourself first.